Books I read in 2006: A Retrospect

Fantasy:
The Bartimaeus Trilogy: The Amulet of Samarkand : Jonathan Stroud
Review pts: 7.5/10

The Bartimaeus Trilogy: The Golem’s Eye: Jonathan Stroud
Review pts: 7.5/10

The Bartimaeus Trilogy: Ptolemy’s Gate: Jonathan Stroud
Review pts: 8/10

Artemis Fowl : Eoin Colfer
Review pts: 6.5/10

Fiction:
Da Vinci Code: Dan Brown
Review pts: 6/10

The Kite Runner: Khaled Hosseini
Review pts: 9.5/10

Five point someone : Chetan Bhagat
Review pts: 8/10

One Night at Call center : Chetan Bhagat
Review pts: 5/10

The God father : Mario Puzo
Review pts: 8/10

Midnight’s Children : Salman Rushdie
Review pts: 4/10

Veronica Decides to die: Paulo Coehlo
Review pts: 6/10

Memoirs of a Geisha : Arthur Golden
Review pts: 6.5/10

Swami and Friends : R K Narayan
Review pts: 7.5/10

Bachelor of Arts : R K Narayan
Review pts: 5/10

Winged Dreams: Deepak Yeshwant
Review pts: 6/10

How Opal Mehta Got kissed, Got wild, Got a Life: Kaavya Viswanathan
Review pts: 5/10

Non Fiction:
Anne Frank - The Diary of a Young Girl : Anne Frank
Review pts: 6.5/10

Classics:
Alchemist: Paulo Coehlo
Review pts: 7/10

To Kill a mocking Bird: Harper Lee
Review pts: 9/10

Children's Classics:
Anne of Green Gables : LM Montgomery
Review pts: 7.5/10


Humor:
Inscrutable Americans: Anurag Mathur
Review pts: 6/10

Ring for Jeeves : PG Wodehouse
Review pts: 7/10

The Code of the Woosters : PG Wodehouse
Review pts: 8/10


Short Stories:
Malgudi Days : R K Narayan
Review pts: 7/10

How lucky we are...

Whenever I had gone to Basent nagar beach with Kuttapan,
I used to challenge him,
“Hey… you... Nincompoop, let’s run… let’s see who wins”

I knew I can’t win, I knew he will be far ahead,
But still I used to race.
Just to see the enthusiasm in Kuttapan’s face, Just to see him smiling.

As I was running,
I saw a little girl.
I had seen her there couple of times.

I stopped. Kuttapan was already far ahead.
She was smiling at me.
That smile was very special, something that I can never forget.
I could see in her eyes that she too wanted to run.
But she knew she can’t.

I heard Kuttapan shouting.
I started running again leaving the girl behind.

When kuttapan asked, what happened?
I smiled and asked,
“Do you know how lucky we are?”

Saying that I pushed him and ran,
“At least this time I’ll win”
I mused.

Everybody Hates CAFS Cube

Sibi Cobra: “Ho shit Man, when will this dodo learn?”
Sudip Cobra: “It happens… dude “
KK Cobra: “Hey… See what Jack has written, he is again proving he is a real Jack.”
Sudip Cobra: “Man… this guy is crazy…”
Sibi Cobra: “Ideally he shouldn’t have written this…”

Cobras started laughing hysterically, as usual the rest staring at them.
Wondering, are these guys normal?

********************************************

It all started when KK, the most experienced Cobra, the one and only of its kind, joined our Team.

KK doesn’t believe in Rules. “Break the Rules” is his motto.
He very well knows how to handle people when they ask him to do some crap.
One can see many faces in him. If at one end KK troubles people by his tricks, at the other end he will be at some orphanage playing with the kids, helping them. That’s KK, the amazing nut, the Guru.

Sibi a guy who was always ignored by his PMs, working all alone under the command of a vampire, frustrated with work. Enthusiasm had disappeared from his dictionary long back. He had started feeling why he was working? He’s a guy who always wants do something that has some meaning in Life.

Sudip, a very obedient guy, who didn’t know how to say “No” when he had to say “No”. He is smallest of the Cobras. He is still afraid to do some naughty things that the bigger Cobras daily do. He was pissed off the day when his grading was out.

They are from different states, they speak different languages, and they have different beliefs. But Life brought them together and they became the most notorious gang ever in that wing.

Everything changed from the day KK joined us. We started laughing for anything and everything. We used to call ourselves “CAFS Lions” initially, because we were the Kings. Another secret reason we called so was we were Lazy like Lions.
We later renamed it as “Cobras”, coz we were becoming more and more poisonous.

To Sibi, the sight of the cubicle itself used to irritate him now brought a smile on his face. The boring days became lively.
Sudip had slowly started saying “No” when he had to say “No” or rather a “No” when ideally it should have been “Yes”.

We used to make fun of everyone, no matter who the person is.
We were becoming fearless, who was ready to do anything for Fun.
Any games, any team meets, any quiz… anything… we tried our Best to spoil them. KK will come up with very innovative funny ideas to spoil them.

One such instance was “Chris Mom and Chris child”. Everybody will be a Chris mom of someone in the project. We decided it using lots. Chris Mom will give a task to its Chris child by passing notes or writing on the board etc. Until the specified day, nobody will know who his/her Chris mom is.
We came up with a wonderful idea to spoil this. We started writing notes to everyone in the project to do some funny things. Since they don’t know who their Chris mom is, they used to do it. One day, the cat was out of the bag and the whole game was canceled.

At times, we did cross all the limits, but still we made sure all this doesn’t affect work.
That’s how Cobras are, very responsible.

We had named each person after an animal.
Hipo, Dodo, Bull dog, monkeys, Donkeys… the list goes on.
We also had many jacks like Big Jack, Jack of all trades, local Jack etc.

Our jokes were jokes meant only for us. Only we laughed. When we were laughing, others were cursing. Any meeting, any get-together, we try our maximum with our sarcastic comments to make it bad. But sometimes, people blame us for things which we never did. That made us even happier. We embraced all such comments.
There were some, who were with us, in our new Revolution, against all biased Jacks.
We had a dream of a no-nonsense world, where we’ll do things that are practical.

Now the time has come for the Cobras to part.
They have to go on their ways, for their career, for their future.
They know, they are parting for good, but still…
As always, parting is pain.

They can never forget the fun they had together.

********************************************

Sibi Cobra: “Everybody hates us Man…“
Sudip Cobra: “Yeah true…”
KK Cobra: “Even Better…”

Laughter again …

Sometimes

Sometimes…
I feel…
You are very close to me…
I feel…
You are my sweetest friend…
I feel…
I am so lucky to have you…
I feel…

You are so near me…
Even though you are so faar…

Sometimes…
I feel…
You are a stranger to me…
I hear someone asking…
Is she your friend?
I feel…
Why she is everything to me…?
I feel…

You are faar faar away from me…
Even though you are sitting next to me…

Life without u…

Without you...
I feel
As if am not living…
As if I don’t exist…
As if I am a mechanical device…

I smile… as if am smiling for someone else…
I laugh… as if am laughing for someone else…
I Live… as if am living for someone else…

In just one week…
I forgot… how to smile for myself…
I forgot… how to laugh for myself…
I forgot… how to live to myself…

I think …
It was for you… I always smiled…
It was for you… I always laughed…
It was for you… I always lived…

I now know…
Only When I smile for you… I was smiling for myself…
Only When I laugh for you… I was laughing for myself…
Only When I live for you… I was living for myself…

Miss you …

Kuttapan

People whom you thought… As your enemies... once...
People whom you thought… You can never gel with…

Sometimes… God brings them together…
Sometimes… They become so close that…

One day you’ll start wondering…
“Ho once how much I hated that person…
Now, I don’t know… how much I love him…”

Well that’s exactly how am feeling now…

He’s just my opposite…
What is right for me is wrong for him…

He has his arguments...
I have mine...

People whom I like… he won’t like…
People whom he likes… I won’t like…

But dunno…
With all these differences…
We really did enjoy the days together…

Strange is this life…
that brought us together…
Will always be thankful…
coz it brought us together…

As long as we have memories…
Yesterday remains…
Memories will fade…
New people… New friends… New priorities…

But I will never forget the time I had with My Kuttapan…

Two faces

Whenever I had sent you a mail during …
I always witnessed a fight…

A fight between two faces …

One… who wants to send a mail…
So that he can hope he may get a reply…
Thus he can spend time waiting…

A face who wants hope...

Another, my skeptical face, who don’t want to send a mail…
Coz he fears it may nag you…
He keeps asking "Am I doing the right thing…?"

So whenever a mail hits your inbox…
Remember… It’s after a long fight…
It’s when the first one wins…


With lots of Love
Face 1

Wait

I waited… I waited…
Cre… eeek…
Was that my phone ringing…?
“Obviously not”
Still… I checked…

It was just the wind…
As always…He was trying to break all barriers…
No matter how strong it is…He tries…
That’s called courage…

I wanted to watch TV…
“What if she calls and I didn’t hear?”
I know she’ll call…
So I waited…

I wanted to Read…
“But what if I sleep reading…? “
She told she’ll call…
So I waited…

Knock knock…
“Who is that?”
It’s me… SLEEP
I heard him laughing…

“Hey… Listen… Not today…
Today my sweet friend will call, she promised…
Today… I want to wait…
I don’t mind waiting for her till dawn….”

Laughter continued…
Now it was louder…

“I’ll give you hundred victories…
But today…please let me win…”

But slowly… I felt my muscles weakening…
I tried … to keep my eyes open…. But in vain…
Slowly… slowly… I slept…

And then the phone rang…
I jumped with joy…
I screamed…
I wanted the whole world to know….
That my friend called….

We talked… talked … and talked…
We laughed…. and laughed….
I was enjoying each and every moment…

Tring… Tring….
Huh… My alarm clock….???

No it can’t be… No… it can’t be a dream….

I searched my phone history…
I searched and searched….

But…
It was just a Dream…

She didn’t call me…
She didn’t…

Lost Friend

I got up today with a strange feeling of loss, but I was too sleepy to make out what?
I managed to get out of my mosquito net without stamping Kuttapan. It’s nice to see the way Kuttapan sleeps, with hands and legs apart as if he had fallen from 10th floor.
I smiled.

I made my way to the mirror near the bathroom with my eyes half open. As I washed my face. I shouted “You Poop head, get out, I am getting late”.
I expected a similar reply but I received silence.
Did I see the door open?
I forgot he was gone.
I smiled.

Me and Kuttapan didn’t say a word. We silently dressed up started walking towards the bus stop. I saw our usual “Water buffalos”, one of the main characters that exist in our fantasy world. We have “Talking Buffalos in green water”, “Big bad buses”, “the villain Mosquitoes”… the list goes on.

I heard the Water Buffalo asking about my friend?
I smiled.

When we reached the bus stop, as usual I was about to start my usual jokes, suddenly I was not able to talk.
I smiled.

I silently got in to my daily activities in office, until afternoon, when I saw Kuttapan’s photo flashing in my mob. I started for lunch.
When I reached building 1, I did take a step towards right, and then suddenly realized that’s a wrong step. I did an undo and
I smiled.

When I reached FC, I didn’t sit in our usual place. I saw Kuttapan coming with a made up smile. He was looking at me with sympathy. I wonder why he looked like that or is he too going through the same phase?

I boarded my bus back at 8:20, I sat in my usual window seat. I heard the leaves whispering. Are they talking about me? I know leaves don’t whisper, but I heard, Trust me I heard them say “hey I have never seen this guy alone, where is his friend?”
I did manage to move my lips. Some call it smile, but I don’t.

I reached home, I reached the door. As usual I waited there so that somebody will open it for me. I call him lazy, but he says I am worse. I heard the lock murmuring “This guy will never change”. When I opened the door, I saw the newspaper lying down. It was cursing me for leaving it unattended. I picked it and kept it near the other newspapers. I heard other newspapers asking why he was late. I heard him say, he is gone.
This time, I did try moving my lips but in vain.

I sat in my chair looking outside.
I was waiting for Kuttapan.
Then I heard my eye balls scream. They were drowning.
This time my obedient lips said “Please, not this time”.

Ideal World

When I hear people say “Ideally things should be like this, ideally I should be doing this”
I wonder why people refrain from taking the right step even after they know what is right and what is not. They forget if each one takes a right step, they can make a difference, they can contribute to an ideal world with no poverty, no injustice with only peace and happiness every where.

I do try my maximum to take the right step whenever possible, but at times I too end up saying the word “Ideally” and start criticizing our society and people for the wrong step I had taken.

Let me take you to one such incident.

I didn’t renew my insurance for my two wheeler coz I was too lazy to renew it and also I had to take a leave for that. One can understand how difficult is to get a leave for a IT professional. Ideally I should have taken that, but I didn’t.

One day when I was coming back after a second show movie, I saw a Traffic guy in the middle of the road waving his hands. As I seldom service my bike, the brakes were in very good condition. Somehow I managed to stop my bike with a few inches from that guy. He gave a weak smile. May be he was happy coz I just saved his life.

He asked for my documents and obviously he saw the expiry date of my insurance. Then he showed me a big chart with the fines in which I saw a one followed by 3 zeroes for insurance. The traffic guy smirked and said “Ideally you should be paying 1000 showing that half torn chart and an old receipt book”.

“I think he have never used that receipt book” I mused.

Then he whispered “You give some 200 or 300 rupees and leave”.
I somehow wanted to escape from there. So I gave him 200 bucks and left.

On my way back, I asked my friend that ideally I should have given the full amount right?
Hey you saved 800 bucks right? You should be thankful to that traffic guy.
“Thankful?” I started laughing hysterically.

“If I had given the 1000 rupees fine, I will never default my insurance payment again. People default the payments because they know they can bribe these Traffic people.
Who is the loser here?
The Government?
In turn the people?
That is including u and me.”

I know, everyone knows, bribe is a sin, yet I gave coz that’s how the world is. I could have given the fine, thus making a difference, no mater how small it is. That day I decided I won’t default the payment again, if I did I won’t give a bribe for that. If everyone takes a vow like this, may be we can see the ideal situation.

The ideal situation would be:
“There won’t be any traffic violations. If violated, people will give the porper fine and get the receipt from the Traffic police. That will eliminate the corruption and the money will go to the government. The government will invest the money in infrastructure by which we will gain at the end.”

Assumptions:
There is no corruption in our government. (please control your laughter)
There is no corruption among the contractors who take up the infrastructure works.


One can see infinite examples like this.
Like if you want to get a letter in time, one need to give some tip/bribe to the postman.

Last time, when I went home I got my certificate via post which I had given for some correction. After giving me the certificate, postman started some general conversation. I understood what he needs but said thank you and went inside. Then my father went out and gave him some money. I asked my father why you gave him bribe. He told that it’s not bribe, I just like that gave him coz he is poorly paid and if we want such important documents to be delivered on time, one has to give money.

I told, papa
“There are 3 types of people to whom postman will be delivering the letters:
1) People who give money to the postman because one has more than enough money to give.
2) People who give money because they have no other go; they don’t want to take risk with the important documents.
3) People who don’t have money to give.

Papa, because of people like you, the third kind of people won’t get the deserved service; they may not get the letters on time. Postman will be busy delivering the letters for the people belonging to the first two categories.

They may be paid less, but there are people who need help more than him. It’s his duty to deliver letters and the government is paying them. If you really want to help people, go give some donations in some orphanages, but never encourage such people”.
You can see this everywhere. Give money, you get respect. People forget their duties; they work for people who give them bribe.

You still can change this society. We can still make a difference.
If each one of you takes such small steps, we can soon make this world an Ideal World or we will tend towards an Ideal World.

It’s never late to take a right step.

Unwanted importance

When you don’t reply…

I feel…
I see…
The darkness spreading around me…

Slowly ... Happiness has started leaving me ...
I had closed all openings…
But when someone has determined to leave… It will find a way…
The whole universe conspires to make a way for it…

I can feel its contrary entering…
Breaking all the barriers that I had built…

The things which used to amuse me have started aggravating me…
The things which used to make me laugh hysterically no longer makes me laugh…

My smile … some says it’s artificial…
But you know its not…
The smile which people say which is impossible to fade…
Has started fading slowly…

I know this should not happen…
But it happens…

My Brain asks…
“Why fret ?
The people yonder are also your dear friends…
Why fret my child? “

My heart says…
“ I don’t know, Yes I have many friends, I don’t know why… But its like that”

My Brain advices…
“My dear child,
I know she is your dearest friend,
But why this unwanted importance”

“It was always like that… from the day I met her… and it will be so forever”
Smiled my Heart

Sorting Hat

Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

11’oclock Cab

11’oclock Cab

Everyday as I sit by the window of the infy 11 ‘o clock cab, as I stare at the SEs running to catch the cab, when I see their tired faces, I feel am better… am not that tired ( just trying to be positive). I can feel the cries of hundreds of SEs still working in those so called glass houses which the outside world sees as the future of India. 90% of them don’t know what they are talking about, but they blame governments for standing against IT.

But let’s take things in this way…
We are lucky, aren’t we?
There are millions of jobless youth in India who is ready to do anything for one day’s meal…
Who is ready to work day and night…

Or people who are woking day and night… still getting 1/10 of what we are getting…

So why people complain about job?

O people, think about people who is searching for food even in garbages…
Aren’t we living a luxurious life?

O people, think about the child who is dying coz of starvation…

God gave us the brain to think, to understand…

When you feel you are alone…
Think about thousands of orphans in orphanages who don’t have anyone to care for…

When you fell you don’t like this work,

When the question that every SE will one day face ... “ What is the meaning of my Life?”
Then think…
There are people who are jobless… who are starving… who are living in orphanages…
Who can’t see… who can’t hear…


Aim higher… Aim…
Its easier said than done…

But try not to complain… never criticize…

I sat by my cab window… smiling…

River

River

Heard of a place called Lakkidi?
Well… No prizes for guessing the answer…

Lakkidi…
My mom’s birth place…
Where I used to spend my long summer vacations… (It was very long indeed… compared to the 3-4 days looong vacations in corporate life)

Geographically speaking….
It’s a very small village situated on the banks of “Bharata puzha” the largest and most magnificent river in kerala.

It’s one of the rare places in fully literate Kerala where you won’t find any shops near by; buses are very rare, where one can even play cricket on the main road without fearing vehicles.
Means… u can really enjoy the beauty of the nature.
Yes, I would say this is one of the most beautiful places in the communist ruled so called God’s own country.

Toponymy of this place says that this place was once Tipu Sultan’s wood storage camp. The name was actually “Lakkadi” which means “wood” in Hindi. The natives made it “Lakkidi”, the Malayalam version of “Lakkadi”. One can still see the actual name on the railway station board.

Did you hear Railway Station?
An earth-shattering sentence right?
Yeah… this place has a small railway station too.
Sometimes while passing by… I used to drop for a chat with the station master.
He used to tell me some wonderful stories like how one day a super fast stopped here and his dreams of a big station in Lakkidi.
Sometimes I feel like the trains approaching this station increase their speed while passing by.

The moment I reach my mom’s Tharavadu(house), all my tensions, I don’t know why, my small sorrows…worries… everything seems to vanish.

When you take a deep breath with your arms stretched facing the river, well I can’t explain you how exactly you’ll feel, but it’s like…
You’ll feel a special freshness…
A feeling of peace…
Of love…
That’s the magic of Lakkidi…
Something one should experience…

One evening, I was sitting on the steps of my mom’s Tharavadu…
Watching the birds singing…, the flowing river…, Working farmers …

Suddenly I thought if I was a river, how easy my life would be. I just need to flow and flow and finally reach my dear ocean.
Later I tried seeing things from river’s shoes (sounds funny right, but it’s always a good idea to see things from a different perspective). I started realizing how difficult it is to cut a way through the rocks, mountains and reach the ocean.
“Things are not easy as it seems to be” I mused.

This is one thing my friends always grizzle…
That I think and compare such weird things…

“Saleem … Saleem”

It was my cousin calling me…
He looks more like a monkey from a distance…
His looks are proportional to the distance, more the distance… better the looks…

I saw him coming with a tire tube in his hand.

“What Saleem, day dreaming as usual huh?”

“No man, just like that enjoying the beauty of this place”.

“Ok ok”… he told in a bored tone

He was born and bought up in Lakkidi only…

He loves to come to the city, loves to see the huge buildings, loves so see the huge traffic jams, the smelly corporation vehicles, communist strikes and hartals… (That’s a must see festival in kerala)
And all those dirty things in the city.
I sometimes wonder if he is mentally stable…
Hmm… May be he was bored with his slow life…
Like we are bored with our fast mechanical life…

“Guess what this tube is for?” asked my lunatic cousin.

He is always like that. For anything and everything he’ll make you guess.

“What a boring guy” I thought.

“No idea” I said.

“Oh boring Saleem… use your brain”

I acted as if I am thinking. Gestures like that came very useful in my corporate life.

“Ok ill tell u, no need to act…, I am gonna teach you swimming near that check dam”
He said with a smirk.

“What???” I almost screamed.

“Don’t worry buddy, this tube will keep you floating”

“But, that is ok, but… “

“I told u there is no need to worry, and it’s a shame that you don’t know swimming”

Finally after a long chain of arguments, I had to agree.

So started our secret little adventure.

Secret??? Of course secret...
I was not crazy to tell my mom that I was going to learn swimming in that seemingly serene but yet very perilous river?
It’s better if we hide such things from parents, why make them worry unnecessarily.
See how intelligent and caring I was…

But I never knew about the danger that was waiting for me …
I never knew that God was going to show me the world’s only truth…
The only truth…
I never knew… my life was gonna change…
I never knew…

When I reached on top of the dam, I started feeling slight uneasiness.
“Rahim, should I start learning swimming today itself?
Tuesday is not a good day”

That’s how we are, we never take the blame. Here poor “Tuesday” is the victim.

“You urban coward, just tell that you are afraid” he shouted.

“I am not afraid; you know I don’t have a word ‘fear’ in my dictionary”
Sometimes I wonder why I say such stupid dialogues.

“You should have checked that before you bought that dictionary “
He is like that, cracking such poor irritating sardarji jokes in such tense situations.

“Get lost, I know how to learn swimming without your help” I barked.
Later I did repent first for what I said now but later… ?

“Ok fine, am leaving, you live or die, I just don’t care”
Saying that he threw the tube and left.

“Ho my god, what will I do now?, I can’t go back without learning swimming…
I don’t want to become a fool in front of that monkey” I mused.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breadth…
Yes I can feel some courage… yes… some courage… coming deep from my heart…
Well… not exactly heart…
Please don’t ask me from where…
I got it at last…

Psychologically speaking…if you close your eyes…
You can feel a dark world …
With no one to look at you…
Nothing to worry…
No dangers…

Shocked by my psychological approach…?
Wait… there is more to come…

You won’t believe me… But
I did jump to the river with my cousin’s tube…
Tube… my only tool… that will help me to float…

Water was very cold… and I was floating…
So far so good…

My success made me smile…
Yes… I was smiling…
Smiling with pride…
Not knowing… what’s waiting for me…

Good that people can’t see their future…
If they could see… I would never have smiled…

If one can see… if they knew what’s waiting for them…
One can neither live in the present or future…
One can never enjoy the present moment…
That’s exactly why we should stay far far away from astrologers… palmists… and whatever so…


“Hiss”…. “Hiss”….

Did I hear some hissing sound?
“Hiss”…

Yes… I heard.

I turned and looked around. I have heard of water snakes. But…

“No it’s can’t be a snake.” I thought.
Thinking positively in such situation will always help you to suppress fear.

“Hey, was this tube a bit bigger sometime back right?” I mused
Yes… I had started using my brain… which nowadays… I rarely use…

“Ho my god, don’t tell me…the sound was coming from my tube.” I prayed.
But… it was…
That nincompoop had given me a punctured tube.

Yes, I was drowning alone in that river which had already swallowed enough people; I wonder why it wanted me too.
First thing that came to my mind was that I should have asked my parents before coming here.

Well good thoughts are always like Kerala Police; it’s always late and comes only in the climax scene...
Bad thoughts are like robbers and smugglers…
They are always there in the scene…

I tried to cry for help…
But hey… where’s my sound…???
I didn’t know that fear first attacks one’s sound box…

I did some actions with my hands and legs which kept me floating for sometime…
But that didn’t last long…
Slowly… I sank…

Though I was fighting for my life… against death
As I was losing my consciousness…
As I was facing the only truth in human life… the DEATH

Some thoughts started haunting me…
Some thoughts that may seem strange to other people who have never faced such a situation…

The one big question… the question that every man will have to face one day…

What I did in my life…?

Did I do anything good?
Did I ever make a difference in anyone’s life?
Did I ever help anyone other than criticizing others…?
Was I hoggish?
I always wanted to leave some mark of my existence that will last for ever…
Did I follow my dream?

I was always afraid to follow my dreams…
I did what others did…
I studied what my parents told me…
Yes, I had a decent job… But was that I wanted in my life?

I wanted to do something different…
I wanted to make some difference… no matter how small it is…
I always wanted to…

But… now it was too late…

I prayed…
God… give me one more chance… please…
I knew it’s late now, but I prayed….
But… I prayed…
I prayed till I lost my consciousness.

I don’t know what happened next.
But when I opened my eyes… I saw some people wearing green masks standing around me…
It took sometime to realize that it was a hospital…
Yes…I was very much alive.

I smiled…
I didt know how to thank god…
I was lucky…. Very lucky…
He gave me another chance…
To do what I wanted to do… to follow my dream… to make a difference… to leave some marks of my existence…

You may not get a second chance like this… You may not be lucky like saleem…
At times we realize things only we are confronted with such situations…
But it will be too late then…

Whatever it is… do it before it’s too late…

Remember… We have only one life…

Side View Mirror

Side View Mirror

Riding bike along the East Coast Road, that too on a Sunday evening is fun. It’s something you should not miss. I was in my usual speed enjoying the beauty of the endless sea. Seas and beaches, its something that Chennai people can boast to the haughty Bangalore crowd.

My papa keeps carping about my Rash driving. But I don’t speed unless its absolutely necessary like if I am late for a movie and my little friend who is very particular about punctuality is waiting or if am so hungry that I want to reach my favorite restaurant as early as possible. I never speed when am late for a class or office. I feel am more cautious compared to my friends who needlessly zip for such dippy reasons. They forget “Speed thrills but kills”.

Suddenly I heard some desperate vehicle’s horns from behind.
“Looks like some idiot who is late for a Sunday evening class or is that fellow late for a movie. Ho my god, late for a movie, its better that I give him side” I mused.

But when I looked in my left Side View Mirror, I didn’t see the vehicle but I saw her face. I looked in my right mirror; it’s her smiling face again. Ho my God, what’s happening to me? Is this a dream? Is this bike a time machine? Am I traveling to my past? I should have enquired properly about the owner before I bought this bike.
All such crazy thoughts came to my mind.


********************

Flashback
It was a beautiful Sunday evening. I was taking my friend for a ride along the East Coast Road. She was more than a friend to me. I mean, she was one whom I trusted most among friends, whom I can share my secrets, my thoughts, my feelings. I don’t talk a lot to her and sometimes I feel am not very close to her, but whenever I need a friend she’ll be the first person whom I approach. It sounds strange; I too wonder how this is possible.

When she used sit with me in bike, I used to adjust my Side View Mirrors to see her face forgetting its original purpose. She used to irritate me by going left and right. She was one of the naughtiest girls I had ever seen.

My friends always make fun of me about such friendships. May be they never believed in true friendship. One of my friends even made a crazy theory about friendship and love. Well it’s absurd but still funny. It’s called the “Friendship and Love Theory”.

He used to say:
“If they are lovers now, they were not friends…
If they are friends now, they were not lovers…
If they were lovers, they are not friends now…

If two friends are lovers now, they were not friends
If they were friends, they are not lovers now…..”

I know anyone who reads this will be confused, even am confused.

We were enjoying our ride. Then I looked at her via my all new purpose Side View Mirror. She looked more beautiful in the mirror. She smiled and said “George, I think this is my last ride in your bike. Am leaving Chennai, but that doesn’t mean it’s the end of our friendship. We’ll be friends forever”
I could see tears sparkling in her eyes, hope she didn’t see mine.


********************

I was suddenly woken up by some noise. When I opened my eyes, I saw many people around me. I saw a policeman standing in front of me shouting.
I heard people saying that I had stopped my bike in the middle of the road and when policeman asked me to move the bike to the side; I started shaking my head left and right.

People thought I was saying “No” to the policeman, but I realized I was in my dream world; I was not shaking my head to say “No” but was looking in the left and right Side View Mirrors.

I somehow settled the problem. Chennai police are good. They understand people’s problems well.

And I continued my bike journey. I was smiling the whole way back thinking what a fool I have made of myself.

At times life plays such funny games with us. It takes away the most precious things from us. But what’s life without such games.

You’ll know its value only when you lose it.

Suddenly I heard some desperate vehicle’s horns from behind again.
Ho my god, not again.

Innocence

Innocence

Knock, Knock …
“Sibi ikka get up, get up… let’s play”

“Ho my god, this boy won’t let me sleep” I thought.

“I am awake Rizu, will come down in a minute, stop knocking the door, you’ll bust it”
I shouted.

But the knocking continued.
He knows if he stops knocking, I won’t get up.

I reached to door’s lock and unlocked it.

There he was, my nephew Rizwan, standing with a cricket bat, smiling.
It was a yellow plastic bat with a big smiling picture of Sachin Tendulkar.
He’s a big Sachin fan like every other Indian kid.
He was standing with his bat raised like a victorious king with his raised sword
Or was he trying to imitate Sachin after scoring a century?

“Rizu… it’s only 9:30 am… let me sleep for sometime… I slept late yesterday”

He was not ready to listen.
He came in and started hitting me with his plastic bat.
Finally I had to get up and went down with him.

I was too lazy to play with him.
So as usual I said some excuse.

But this time, he was not ready to leave me just like that.
He kept troubling me asking me to play.
He was going on telling “Sibi ikka, come please, we’ll play just one game,
After one game, I won’t trouble you, please”.

From the kitchen, I could hear my sister shouting.
“Rizwan, y do u call him ikka?
He’s your “maama”, call him “sibi maama “.
“Chinchu and Nimmy( my cousins) calls him “Sibi ikka”, then why should I call him “Sibi maama”
He shouted back.

As usual, my sister stopped shouting coz she knew he won’t listen. He always comes up with such arguments when my sister says don’t do this or don’t do that. Most of the time, she will have to accept her defeat coz Rizu never accepts he is wrong.

I was busy watching my favorite TV channels, coz I don’t have set top box in Chennai.
Usually Rizu will be playing in the other room when am watching TV, but he will be waiting for me to take a break.
When I come back, the channel will be either “POGO” or “Cartoon Network” and remote will be missing. Of course he too will be missing. He will be hiding somewhere and I have to find him. This was his way to make me play “Hide n Seek” with him. So nowadays I carry the “TV remote” with me when I take breaks. One day accidentally I even took the remote to bathroom.

But this time, he had decided that he will make me play with him. He was not ready to give up.
Frustrated, he snatched my mobile and showed actions as if he was going to throw it.

Ho my god, my new mobile.
I lost my temper; I took the mobile from him and gave him nice beating on his legs.
He started crying.
Well I can’t explain how exactly he cried,
It was like,
He was rolling on the floor and screaming.
Then he started jumping and again started rolling.

“I think I hit him hard” I mused.

Then my parents and sister came running and took him outside.


My parents never scold him.
Sometimes I tell mummy, “It’s you and papa who are spoiling the kid. I remember how you people used to scold me when I was a kid.”
They’ll say,
“Grand parents can never scold their grand children, it’s like that, you’ll understand that when you become a grand father”
“Yeah may be” I’ll say in a bored tone.

That day, I was lying on my bed, trying to sleep.
Suddenly I felt bad about scolding Rizu. I had never beaten him like that though I used to scold him.
“I should not have hit him that hard” I mused.
Actually it’s my mistake, he was asking to play with him from morning and I was simply sitting and watching the so called idiot box.

I went down to his room. There he was, sleeping like an angel. When I touched his legs, I could feel some marks on his leg.
Yes those were the marks of my hand; I had beaten him so hard.
Tears rolled from my eyes.
How can I be so callous?
How can I give him such a wallop for just asking me to play with him?

I bend down, gave him a kiss on his cheek and said “am sorry Rizu, am really sorry”

“He will never come to me again,
He will never ask me to play with him” I thought.

Next day morning I was woken up by the familiar knock.
Knock, Knock …
“Sibi ikka get up, get up...
Let’s play”

I got up from my bed and unlocked the door.

Yes, there he was, smiling with his favorite cricket bat in his hand.


I hugged him and said
“I am sorry Rizu, I won’t hit you again”

I could see his bewildered face thinking what his maama is saying. He had long before forgotten that I had hurt him.

That’s how children are, so innocent.

If people in this world were innocent like children…
If people in this world can forget and forgive the wrong things done by others…
If no one swore vengeance on anyone, all live and let others live…
How peaceful this world will be,
How beautiful the world will be.
There will be no wars… no conflicts…
There will be only love, love and only love.

Suddenly I felt someone pulling my hand.
It was him asking me to play.

I smiled and said “yeah let’s play “

And I saw him smile,
A smile that I would say is the most beautiful smile I have ever seen in my life.
It’s not the artificial smile of the models in beauty contest which people say is the most beautiful smile.
It was a smile of innocence, a smile of love.

He ran holding my hand,
And I ran with him like a kid.

*****************************************************************

*Maama: Mother’s brother
*Ikka: Brother

Chicken

I was sitting on one side
My friends were sitting on the other side
It was lunch time
There was a fully fried chicken in my plate

I thought about the chicken
About its life
How it used to run and play
Now it’s lying motionless in my plate

Everyone will become like this one day
Motionless

I started eating by cutting its legs
My friends stared at me and started laughing
The way I eat chicken, it was really funny

One of them told “Even that fried chicken will run away if
You eat like this”

I laughed
We all laughed…

Suddenly the chicken started moving…
We jumped in shock

It got up and gazed as if I killed it…
And it ran towards the hotel kitchen

“May be the chicken wants to take vengeance on the cook” I said

We all sat motionless just like the chicken
As if the roles have been exchanged

Mama

Mama

She and her baby…
Her new world…
No one else had a place in that small beautiful serene world. It was a world of innocence and love, unlike our world which is full of violence and hatred, where love ceases to exist.

From the day she was back in office, I have been hearing the same stories, how her baby smiles, how he looks at her, how he recognizes her, how he cries when she leaves him while coming to office.

Even though I was busy, I used to find time to listen to her stories. I used to see tears sparkling in her eyes when she tells me how much she misses her baby.

I see her waiting for the clock to strike 5…
To run, to see, to hug her little baby…
To tell him how much she missed him, how much she loves him…

“George, morning when I start from home, I carry my baby till the gate. When I give him to my mother in law, I don’t know why, but I daily cry.
I turn back till I reach the end of the road. When I turn back from a distance, I feel like baby calling me and saying
“Mama, don’t leave me here, I love u…
Ill miss u, you are my world, how can u leave me here n go…
Few months back, I used to come with u.
U never left me alone. Mama, please take me with u”,
Saying that she started crying.

“The baby wouldn’t have said he wants to come to office if he had done some coding or testing” I thought.
Am always like this, musing about something funny in such sentimental situations.

Next day she came to me and told “George, you know what happened yesterday. A big mosquito bit my baby on his cheek. Till yesterday, I didn’t have anything against mosquitoes. It’s just a living creature that sucks blood for food. But now I hate them more than anything. The day it bit my baby, I swore vengeance on all mosquitoes no matter they suck blood or not (she is aware, male mosquitoes don’t suck blood). My first mission is to kill all mosquitoes in my house”.

Initially, I thought she was joking.
I said “Mission Impossible 4” and laughed hysterically.

She stared at me angrily.

“Ho my god, she’s serious” I mused.
“Are you insane?” I asked.

She smiled “You won’t understand George”.

“Only a mother can care like this.
This is the real, unconditional love that comes straight from heart.
Even if the whole world goes against you, your mother will be there with u, always”.
I thought.

When I was a kid, I remember waiting for my mother to come back from office. I used to run to the bus stop to receive her. When I see her bus coming, I used to dance with joy. She’ll always have a sheaf of papers in one hand and some unniappam(a sweet made in kerala) on the other which she never forgets to buy coz she knows how much I love unniappam. When she gets down the bus, ill run to hug her and say
“I love u mama, you are the best”.
Then she’ll ask me what all I studied today, what all I did in school etc.

I was an assiduous student. Mama was proud of me. My teachers used to tell how lucky you are to get such a son. Hearing that, I used to see her flying with pride.
She’ll kiss me and say
“My son is the best”.
Ill hug her tightly and say
“My mama is the best”.

When I grew up, I became very serious at home though I was just the opposite in college. I no longer went to the bus stop to receive her. I was busy with my friends; I was enjoying my new freedom. But she was everything to me and will always be so.

Even now, when I go home for vacation, I don’t talk much.
I love her more than anyone, but I rarely show.

When ill be packing my bags to go back, ill be almost in tears.
When my mama cries when I say “bye”, I just smile, not showing my emotions, my love for her, hiding my tears.
I want to hug her and say
“I Love you mama, you’re the best”, as I used to say when I was a kid. But I don’t.

I wonder why I don’t show my love for her. If I didn’t show it to her, to whom will I show?
But I am sure she knows how much I love her, after all she’s my mama.

Smile

Smile

“Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.”

“A smile is a powerful weapon; you can even break ice with it. “

“Smile a lot, it costs nothing”

“Always remember to be happy because you never know who's falling in love with your smile. “

Lots of poets and writers have written about the importance of smile, one of the most powerful yet a simple thing that a human being can give to the world.

I have seen people who don’t smile back…
May be coz they are too busy…
Or may be coz they don’t like that person…
Or may be coz they are moody…
Or may be coz they just don’t feel like smiling just like that…

I too was like this…
I never used to smile at people…
I used to think
“Why should I waste my energy smiling at other people?”

But at one point in my life, I realized the significance of smile.
It was when I went to a local function, where the people in the neighborhood were attending.
Suddenly I realized they were the people whom I daily see and never smile.
I was isolated even though they knew me, even though they see me daily. I then understood the importance of smile in the social life.


There was another such incident during my college days.
One day, I was in a very bad mood. Since I rarely smiled even if I am in a good mood, naturally I didn’t smile when my classmates came to discuss about our farewell party. Though I said “yes” agreeing to their decision, seeing my face, they assumed that I didn’t like the proposal.

Next day, when I went to my college, I heard that the farewell party location has not yet being decided coz some are not ready. When I went in to detail of the issue, I found that it was my name on top list who was not contented with the location.
Well this seems strange, ya I too was shocked, but it’s the truth. People assume things. Mostly it’s our smile and body language that counts more than our words.


Its not only human beings, but it applies to every living being in this world.
Haven’t you heard this quote by Walter Anderson :
“Smile, Have you ever noticed how easily puppies make human friends? “

When I tell you to smile, I mean the smile that comes from your heart, not the cheesy grin just to show that “I have been told to smile, so let me smile”.

When I realized my mistake, I decided,
No matter in what mood I am,
No matter how busy I am,
No matter how much I loathe that person,
I decided; I will smile.
And that smile will be right from my heart.”

From that day I changed. I smiles even when I don’t get one back. I’ll think
“One day he/she will smile back”.

There is a guy in my office, to whom I daily smile, who never smiles me back.
My friends asks me, Why I smile at a person who don’t smile back,
Ill say “My dear friends, do you know what
Mother Theresa said about smile”
“‘Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing”
“Yes it’s very true and it costs you nothing, yet it does wonderful things.
One day he will realize that”


So people, think, to whom did you smile yesterday and to whom u did not.
From now on, try smiling at least once to your friends, to your enemies, to your colleagues; to everyone you know or want to know. You’ll know the Magic of this simple five letter word “Smile”.

The Gift

The Gift

May 26th
It was the first monsoon rain in berminganam, a small village in kottayam district, kerala.
Kerala monsoon, something which every keralite misses when not in kerala. The first rain with the smell of earth spreads happiness and love. You can hear the birds singing with joy. Even the crow’s voice becomes sweeter. It’s the time when you feel like thinking about people you like most.

George as usual was sitting in his balcony with a book. He was neither reading nor enjoying the beauty of the rain. He was in his own world, thinking about Rachel.
Rachel Philip, his Best friend, or to be more correct, who was his Best Friend. May 18th is her 22nd birthday. Twenty two years back, the day when his best friend was born, the day when God had send his dearest angel in heaven to earth as his Rachel. Yes, she was truly an angel.

Rachel was everything to him or may be still she is. He was bewildered, if he should get her something for her birthday or not. They were no longer friends now. Few months back, they had parted vowing they won’t care for each other anymore. Still he cared for her.

Finally he decided he will buy her something.
But what?

He didn’t want buy her the usual gifts that a boy gives to a girl.
He wanted to give her something special.
He knew her likes and dislikes, after all once she was his Best Friend, a friend with whom he shared everything.
He was cogitating about things she likes most and there was only one thing she loves more than anything and that’s Classical Music.
She had started learning Classical Music, when she was 3 years old. From that day, music was her religion.

So he started researching on classical music.
First thing he always does when he hears a word which is not very familiar was to Google or search in Wiki. He didn’t have much idea about classical music.
Whenever he asked her to sing, she used to sing some film songs because she knew George. That’s how she was; she perfectly knew what he likes and what he dislikes.

After searching for about an hour or two, he finally found a DVD, a concert video by a famous classical singer in e-bay. For the first time, he was buying a serious gift like this. George’s usual gifts were always something funny.








May 29th

He was still very ambivalent about giving the gift. After much thought, he finally gave her a call.

He said “Can I see u today; hmm in our usual meeting place, wanna talk; won’t take long; just 5 minutes”.

Suddenly her tone changed and he told “Don’t worry, nothing big”.

She said “ok”.

And they met.

He was sitting on the bench waiting for her with the gift.
He saw her coming from a distance looking down. She smiled at him. There was a time when he was ready to do anything under the sun to see her smiling. Even now, he had not changed much and that’s exactly what he is doing now.

She sat beside him and he said “Happy Birthday”
She smiled n said “Thanks”.
He looked at her eyes and
said “ I think I should give you something today, right? “
He took the gift from the bag and gave her. She was a bit shocked because she never expected George to do something like this after what all had happened.

She slowly started opening the packet. He could see the curiosity in her eyes, wondering what the gift was. When she opened and saw the gift, she was silent for a few seconds. Suddenly she started laughing hysterically. Not laughing exactly, she was half laughing and half crying. George just sat there looking at her without uttering a word. He wanted to speak, ask her if she liked the gift, but couldn’t.

They didn’t talk for sometime. At times silence speaks more than words.









Rachel was not a quiet girl. But sometimes, they used to sit like this without talking. If George breaks the silence and asks “Why are u not talking”
She’ll say “Stupid, if u can’t understand my silence, how will you understand my words”.
So George will try to assume what she is thinking.
Most of the times, poor George will go wrong.
And she will shout
“U assume too much
Consider the word ASSUME...
By assuming u make an ASS out of U and ME both... ASS-U-ME... Get it! “
saying that she will start laughing.
George used to think
“There is nothing as complex as a girl’s mind.
Ho God, tell me anything, ill do;
But to read a girl’s mind, sorry I can’t”

This time, George didn’t break the silence.
After sometime she looked at him and asked “U still care for me George?”
He said “I am afraid, I think I do”
He paused for a sec and spoke
“I can’t stop caring just like that, am like that”.

Then they had some general chat about life and work. She asked him “Why are you becoming slimmer day by day, can’t u eat properly you idiot”.
He smiled.
That’s how she is, very caring. That is exactly why George couldn’t stop caring. He did have many close friends, but no one was as caring as Rachel. He could talk anything to her and she used to understand him perfectly.

After sometime George said “let’s go”.
He didn’t want to go. He wanted to talk for some more time. He wanted to say how much he cares for her.
But some things are like that; can’t be explained.

She slowly got up, to part once again, may be forever.
He said to himself “May be we may never sit and talk like this again”.
And they walked.
When she reached her place, she looked at him
and said in a very low sweet voice “ Take Care”. George could make out with how much care she told those two words. All his friends do say those two words often but when Rachel tells that, she really means it.
He said “U too take care”

“Ill always care for you Rachel, no matter what happens” he said to himself and smiled.

My Credit Card

My Credit Card

First let me tell you what I did this weekend…

Saturday… morning… I did some shopping…
Evening … I continued shopping…

Hmm Sunday morning…
Any guesses???
Yes… again shopping… ;)
So was Sunday evening…

The credit goes to My “Credit Card” …

Well what is a credit card…???
It’s a small, thin plastic cut in rectangular shape…
With a unique number, your photo (that’s optional), a magnetic strip containing the information about the card n card holder…
It looks good in your wallet… an array of credit cards… Gold, Silver

It’s called “smart money”…
And you see regular ads showing “How it’s not safe to carry money…”
“Use visa/master card”…

Some ads even show… “U can get girl friends only if you have a Visa card”…
(Actually saying… it’s not completely untrue…
It’s always better if you have a credit card, especially when your bank balance is low
and the girl friends number is high)

From the day you join any company…, you will start getting calls from banks…
… or may be one day before joining (one of the banks came with a credit card offer on the previous day of my joining… J)

Nowadays… I can even make out from the number and the call timings… if it’s a credit card guy/gal…
They will talk very politely … “Hello… this is Ms X calling from Y bank…”
If am busy or in a bad mood… ill cut the phone without uttering a word…
Usually that will make my conscience prickle …
Ho I should have talked… or at least should have told “sorry, not interested” …

Sometimes I try to see things from the credit card agent’s shoes…
They are doing their duty… it’s their job…
How bad they will feel when someone cuts the phone without uttering a word…
Whole day, they will be calling people like me…
Whole day, they will be hearing “No” n “No”…
Sometimes I ponder… How happy they will be… if they hear some nice words from their customers…
After all… they too are human beings…
So when I speak (that’s rare)… I try to be polite…
I wonder… how many people think like this… but next time… when you get a call like that…
Try to see things from their perspective…

If am free… I talk…
Usually I politely decline
Telling… I already have the card…
Then they will tell “its life time free… do you have gold card… blah blah”
Ill keep saying “yes… yes…”
Finally they will ask me to refer someone…
Well ill give my roommate’s number …
A small favor that I can do for my roommates ;)

Actually… some of my friends wait for such calls… to talk… especially if it is a sweet female voice…
I have seen people becoming friends by such calls… then affairs… well well…
and one extreme case that I know… it finally ended up in marriage…
See… credit cards are very useful… ;)

Hey… ill tell you one more enthralling incident… ;)
Once… project meeting was going on…
A very serious discussion…
Everyone very tensed… PM thinking what to do… how to solve this problem…
Suddenly the phone rang…
“Well a ringing phone has to be answered”…
The call was received and put on speaker…
And everyone anxiously waiting… for the caller to speak…
And the caller spoke…
“Hello… this is Mr Sundaram from XXXX Bank; we are offering a life time free card…”
We fell about when we heard this…
Suddenly the tensed situation changed to a comedy situation…
Credit cards do have such uses… which we never realize…

So far so good… Its useful in numerous ways… provided you have some control…
U’ll never know how much u spend… until you get the bill…

Wonder y am writing about credit cards all of a sudden…
Its coz… today morning… I almost fainted when I saw my credit card bill…

It’s a wonderful thing… product of the new generation…
Pretty useful most of the times… very handy…
But … its looks like a word which I used very often… is missing from my dictionary…
Guess what… it’s the word “savings”… J

My first Infy Bus travel

My first Infy bus travel

Today was my first Infy bus travel…

I was a bit excited yesterday… coz morning ill be going in INFY BUS J
Well I slept late as usual…
And as my mosquito friends don’t sleep, they tried to keep me awake for sometime…
They are ideal for BPO jobs (oops PJ L)

Well I can’t blame those mosquitoes…
Coz that’s how they live… they need blood to subsist right?
They are also one of the God’s creations like us…
In one way, mosquitoes are much better than humans…
(We humans have a wrong conception that we are better than all living things on earth in all ways)
They are just hurting us coz they need blood to survive…
That’s their food…

Well we humans hurt other creatures just to make our life better… for luxurious life… for power…
Wars, deforestation… we destroy our mother nature… for our selfish motives…
Ho we humans have no right to denounce those innocent mosquitoes…

As Bill Watterson rightly put this idea via his cartoon character “Calvin” (something I love)
“Calvin: I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by Man's destruction of forests. Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.”

Ho am I diverting from my main topic…???
Ok I am back…

So I slept and got up just 1 minute before the alarm… at 6:49 am…
God knows … but I get up just a minute before my alarm rings…
I am not sure how this funda works… but somehow the time gets stored in my brain…
May be coz the alarm sound is something I loathe… may be its something everyone hates… J

Last time I got up early was when I had to go to Chennai central to say adieu to my dear friend… that too on a Sunday J
One reason I love my weekends is that I can get up late… J I think it’s the case with everyone J

So I got up n had my bath n so…
But as usual I was late…
My friends had already started walking…
And I was searching for my wallet, my mob…
Ho my god… tension was building up in me…
Not today…
I don’t want to miss the bus on first day itself…

Phew… finally I found it and I ran… and I ran….

But whenever I saw a stray dog… I had to slow down…
U see… these dogs are not as intelligent as we humans… u know… J
They won’t understand that if I didn’t run… ill miss my bus
They have only one thing stored in their memory…
“IF (ANYONE RUNS)
IT MEANS THEY ARE THIEVES
END-IF”
Looks like God has fitted a Read only memory in its brain with this “if loop “ programmed (oops a bad joke, never mind… )
Worse part is… there is at least one stray dog in every cross road… L

It took around 15 minutes to reach my bus stop…
Ya I joined my friends on the way…
They were as usual dreaming n walking…
Poor me… I had to run all the way … that too am in formals…
Ho god… I can’t imagine me running with a tie..

And when I reached a stop… a bus stopped in front of me… Bus number 15…
I was about to board… my friend pulled me back… saying … that’s not our bus…

Finally came our Bus… BUS NO : 22… (2+2=4… hee hee just telling for your info)

And when I got in… I saw a friend who was once very close to me…
She was shocked to see me… so was I??? J
We both gave a weak smile as if we were meeting for the first time…
Well there was a time… when she would have been the happiest person if I had come in the Infy bus…
Well things change… friends change… nothing lasts forever…
Friend becomes foes…
Foes become friends…
Sounds funny… but that’s truth…

We had seats only in the back…where we can sit together…
And we started… J
Started our journey towards Infy…
Towards our destiny… ;)
Isn’t that we were waiting for…
Isn’t that we were dying for… ;) ;) ;)

We as usual had our normal conversation (to rest of the world, it will be a abnormal conversation; we talk all kinds of crazy things; well I can’t tell that here)

Finally we reached infy… J
That was my first travel in Infy bus… hope u enjoyed the journey with me… J

1 year in Infy...

I am very very Busy…
I am 90% sure that I won’t be able to meet the deadline…
But………………..
Today is a very special day…, August 9th …
May be the day that changed my Life…
So I want to share with you how I feel today…

So today, I complete my 1 year of corporate life…

Flashback…
I remember last year this day…
I was staying at Grand INN…
I was alone in a room… ( all others was sharing his/her room )
I got up at 4:55 am, 5 minutes before the alarm rang…
I was thrilled, confused, tensed, afraid, happy…
I can’t say exactly my feelings, it was a kinda mixture of the above…
I was not sure what is going to happen, how the people there will be, how they are going to react, what I should say…

And I wore my new dress, tie and I started…
I didn’t have a close friend to tell my feeling coz mathoo, nishoo, paul n all was just my Hi-Bye friends at that time and may be to a certain extent enemies… J
And I sat alone in the Bus… still confused …

And I reached infy, I was sooo proud when I saw the campus and this is where am going to work…

And then our introduction classes started….
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And 1 year from now…
Its time to see what I have gained…
Am I still proud that am working at infosys?
What did I gain???
Am I satisfied with the job???
Am I happy with my new friends???
Do I see a change in myself???

Lots of questions are coming to me now…
Dunno what to answer…

I think I have become more mature, less sensitive …
But am still the same caring, loving sibi…( I think so … J )

This is how I judge myself, not sure how others see me..
May be you can’t judge me because you don’t know my past, how I was ….

I always had an aim and I worked for that aim...
I used to work day and night for achieving my goal…

But now, I fear…
I don’t have an aim…
Am lacking an aim …
Am not sure which direction to proceed…
Am not the same old hardworking sibi, working day and night …
Determined to reach his goal…
Am i???

Change...

Change

So another great day… and am starting with my “GM” mail to my Best Friend …
Everything is changing… me… my friends… where I live… my hobbies…
I just asked her… “Can u see any change in my mails???
just asking…
Just wanna know if that too has changed… “
I reckon that has changed too…

Days are running fast…
but the things I do here is the same…
people grumble that they have no time … I too whine… am no exception…
but is that true…?
can’t I make my life better… can’t I make it more meaningful…
can’t I ?
don’t I have the time for that?

ho these questions are echoing in my mind… since the day I joined infy…
how I can manage my time to make the best use of it…
coz what I do in these years matter a lot…

There was a time when I loved to code… my college days…
Coding was my passion…
But that too has changed….

But I still like to code…
If i… myself… feel like doing something… making something better… ill do it… with perfection… coz am doing something on my own…

Now am trying to gain more knowledge…
Whatever it is… may be that will help me to achieve what I want in life…
Though am still bewildered…
about what I want… hmm…

Of course these are things that every person must have felt one day or other…
That’s life… it goes on n on….

My Best Friend

• My Best Friend
• ..Nov 8th 2001
• My third Semester B Tech classes were going on. We all were excited coz juniors had arrived. Ragging had been banned in kerala, but we used to go to meet the juniors.As usual, I was visiting one class after another and I reached her class.
• At that time I never knew ill have someone that close, I never knew she’s going to change my life, I never knew….I stood near the window of her class… Suddenly I saw her turn… I can never forget that moment… I felt a strange kind of attraction… She saw me …I called her and asked her name…I can make out from her eyes that she was afraid of me… so was my other juniors cozI was a bit tough …And simply I asked her if she can sing… I never knew she was a good singer and she’ll become the best singer in our whole university… and she sang…. “ariyathe ariyathe” …One of the most beautiful songs I ever heard in my life…
• There started a wonderful friendship…And the next three years… were my best days in my life… till now…Every moment we spend together was worth to be treasured…Those laughs n cries…Those small small quarrels….Those long long silences …
• Oct 7th 2005
• Now its 1 year since I talked to her….We were sooo happy together…. But something went wrong…Something….I still wonder what went wrong…Was the world envious of our friendship… ??I still wonder…I still remember her… the moments we spent together….She’s my Best Best Friend….My Only Best Friend…